FUVM!!!!!!!

I used to be frank and forward.. I used to be rude and reckless..

But since only fuck knows when, I'm wearing more smiles and ignore things. I have done countless fakes and fucking smart-assessness for the sake of being somebody else I dont really want to be...

Oh my dear self, could you please tell me for what sake do I owe to life in this fucking state of mind?! THE FUCK why did you rewire our brain?? THE FUCK WHY did you blind our eyes, crop our ears?!?! why dont you just let us die like dead die fucking death like we both know!!

And you, you time, you asssssssshooooooooooleee, why do you have to wait like decade to make me realize how fucked up my stupidity idiotic fucking imbecile is? was? It's like more than ten years already.. or like eleven, or motherfucking twelve..

Where am I now? what the fuck are my self now? the hell how do I get back? how? why? what?

I know I'm stupid, YOU ALL KNOW I'M STUPID,.. you my friends, why do you make me feel like I'm somehow smart and wise.. WISE MY ASSSSSSSSSSS, I'm bleeding and I'm dying to feel the pain, I want to feel the pain, I NEEEED to feel this pain.. but how can I do that with all this fucking smart assess piece of shit in my head?!?!

Tell me please why I let you lie to me.. please tell me why I let you lie.. please tell me.. why? why lie? why me?

I beg you please.. just please..

.sic