Valentine's 11 by ~sic hard to remember why do I believed hard to recall when do we started yesterday and Wednesday I was in doubt yesteryear I was completely ignorant not because Sunday was sunless but because sunny day is cloudless as laughing Monday gets silent, and love died in a butterflies like all Tuesday morning start at nights let me alone in this moonless night I don't care what is right or wrong coz none of that matters for long so let's just leap over, live and let die coz life has offer for another vibe don't be sorry you wont be seeing me dead coz I wont be there after life ends don't be sorry you wont be seeing me pray coz I wont be there for another try I'm sorry for you I'm happy for me hence I leave it's been too long and too late so don't be sorry just remember that I tried very hard to reason with you

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FUVM!!!!!!!

I used to be frank and forward.. I used to be rude and reckless..

But since only fuck knows when, I'm wearing more smiles and ignore things. I have done countless fakes and fucking smart-assessness for the sake of being somebody else I dont really want to be...

Oh my dear self, could you please tell me for what sake do I owe to life in this fucking state of mind?! THE FUCK why did you rewire our brain?? THE FUCK WHY did you blind our eyes, crop our ears?!?! why dont you just let us die like dead die fucking death like we both know!!

And you, you time, you asssssssshooooooooooleee, why do you have to wait like decade to make me realize how fucked up my stupidity idiotic fucking imbecile is? was? It's like more than ten years already.. or like eleven, or motherfucking twelve..

Where am I now? what the fuck are my self now? the hell how do I get back? how? why? what?

I know I'm stupid, YOU ALL KNOW I'M STUPID,.. you my friends, why do you make me feel like I'm somehow smart and wise.. WISE MY ASSSSSSSSSSS, I'm bleeding and I'm dying to feel the pain, I want to feel the pain, I NEEEED to feel this pain.. but how can I do that with all this fucking smart assess piece of shit in my head?!?!

Tell me please why I let you lie to me.. please tell me why I let you lie.. please tell me.. why? why lie? why me?

I beg you please.. just please..

.sic