Ordering Drink in Singapore
first of all, sorry for my english, they're bad and ugly..
I'm so happy today, because I got good news this morning about great job offer.. So I decided to go lunch and eat there, not take away the food like I always did.
So I ordered the food, it's quite easy because most of the food stall's staff knows English well. And if they dont, you can just simply point the picture, or the food itself... so food was done.
I planned not to order drink, but when I was about to eat, there's one person from drink stall came to me and asked me something in Mandarin that I dont understand.. well I dont understand Mandarin at all except for something so basic like:
1) sie sie (thanks)
2) pai pai (not really mandarin I think, maybe just some cutelization in mandanglish* of bye bye)
3) pao (or at least it sounds like that, means ordering a take away food instead of eating there)
4) cia (or at least something sounds like that, means eating instead of take away)
5) cc, kk, siu siu, su, etc..
and maybe few more, but not many.
So I was confused, I dont know what was that old granpa talking about(yep, a very Clint Eastwood from East, Chinese version of him laa). But thanks to my great surveillance sense, I was able to guess that he's offering a drink. So I said, Tea (pronounced: tea), but sadly the old granpa looks confused and a bit annoyed, so I quickly said Teh (pronounced: teh). Still the same, nothing happened, the granpa still wearing "that" face.. Thankfully he said something and I was saying yes to whatever it is..
It's like when you code a Web Application and your protocol didnt match.. it's all about language.
Thankfully the "yes sir whatever" done great, and the granpa gone back to the drink stall and I continue my lunch. After a quite while, the granpa came with a glass of I-dunno-what and asking me for a dollar. So Easy!!, that's what I thought.
Then I quickly get a 5 dollar from my wallet and give it to him. He return a 4 dollars in two 2 dollars paper (not plastic). It's allright I think, money is not considered as a commodity until it sold as a foreign exchange. You know that 100 dollars paper in mint condition is valued as 100 dollars but another 100 dollars paper in less of that condition is valued much less than 100 dollars. So no prob.
The drink itself, is a orange something with ice and a straw, if you're expecting the other "tea" then it is not that easy I like I thought. The drink is a bit suspicious, but the hell with that, they wont sell a poisonous drink on a public place, right? Left! So I take a quick sip and tadaa.. it was a some kinda Sweet Tea Milk. Well not bad I think, it's drinkable..
So after that lunch I came back at the flat and told my friend about that. They laugh at me, no really surprise there, I knew they would. Then they teach me about how to order drinks.
Let me share it here:
1. If you say Tea or Teh, they give you Sweet Milk Tea
2. If you say Coffee or Kopi, they give you Sweet Milk Coffee
so this far it's the formula is X = X + Sweet + Milk
3. If you say Teh O (yep, pronounced: "te o"), they give you Sweet Tea
4. If you say Coffee O( "kofe o"), they give you Sweet Coffee
the formula is X O = Sweet X
5. If you say Tea O Kosong, (kosong as in Indonesian or Malaysian), they give you just Tea, without milk and sugar
6. If you say Coffee O Kosong, same as above, they give you just Coffee without milk and sugar, or Black Coffee.. like this
formula is X O Kosong = X
7. If you want a Cold tea or coffee, just add "Peng" in all above (pronounced: "peng")
Example:
if you said Teh Peng, then you'll have the same drink that I had. A sweet iced milk tea.
Coffee O Peng = Sweet Iced coffee
Disclaimer:
My friend have no idea about "Coffee O Peng Kosong" or "Coffee O Kosong Peng"
Go ahead try and let me know, okay..
for that one I think I would say Coffee O Kosong, Cold.. Slight stop before Cold or Peng might tell the drink seller about the whole idea.
8. If you want your drink to be sweet but not to sweet, you can add Siew Dai (pron:"Siu Tai")
I think Siew mean less.. but that's it..
9. I still searching what to say if I want my coffee not too black. But for the opposite, if you want it to be very black, you can add Gao (pron: "kao"). You can even double it, Gao gao ("kao kao")
So that's it.. enjoy Singapore!!...
Cutelization in Mandanglish
What I mean by Cutelization in Mandanglish is exactly cutelization in mandanglish. Mandanglish is simply MandarinEnglish, an english in mandarin. So the whole idea is English word being cutely pronounced in Mandarin accent. So you say it like a little girl from some anime that might actually learn English say it. Bye -> Pai. Can you imagine that?? Good!
It's might not suit you if you're male with strong masculine face, beard and mustache, thick eyebrow and horrifying gaze and your body muscle is built like a brick stack. Just like me, it doesnt suit my "profile". Try Liam Neeson's or Mickey Rourke's or Jason Statham accent, it suits us people who wear angry Wolverine face all the time, even when we're smiling.
But if you're female, (I think it's safe for all kind of female to do this Cutielization in Mandanglish), or you a pretty boy, beautiful boy, you know those males that have porcelain face like girl or even cutier, then doing this Cutelization in Mandanglish is okay for you guys..
Ups!! .., no hate here ladies and pretty gentleman.. no gender bias, no male segregation offense,..
no any kind of offense, okay?!..
it's all love here..
Love,
.sic
